5 Steps to being an un-biased Maid of Honor

Brides Maid dress with bride at NYC wedding

Being “Made” of Honor

Maids of Honor are an integral part of any nuptials. She is the bride’s backbone, and the heart of the bridal party. The MOH is so deeply involved in all of the planning that it can be hard to constantly put the bride’s taste above her own. I should know; I’m a first time MOH. I am absolutely excited to be serving my little cousin in her upcoming wedding and I know first hand, that seeing a party through her eyes has proven difficult! Here is a list of how to stay un-biased and un-jealous throughout the process… some of these I am still working on!

1. Truly understand your bride’s vision. You may be modern chic and you’re bride rustic quirky. You might not understand why she prefers petit fours, over individual brownie bites. Try to think like the bride. See the world through her veil. After all, this is the couple’s day and while you have been by her side for a very long time, today is about the style of the bride and groom.

2. Know the budget. This is important to know when making suggestions and putting in your two cents. Know where the money is coming from. Many parents have a fund set aside for their child’s wedding; especially when couples marry younger. But, many couples fund their own day. It’s so important to know where the couple stands on the budget, is there any wiggle room or would they like to save as much as possible. If you know the ins and outs of the money situation, you can make a more informed suggestion. Maybe the Cuban cigar roller isn’t a necessity.

3. Rein her in. Say your bride wants fairytale infusions, she may be so focused on the “theme” she’s about to buy fairy wings for the bridal party… this is your cue to step in. Suggest baby’s breath in the party’s hair or little butterflies in the bouquets.

4. Remember that it’s not your day. While you might prefer a strapless dress and a naked cake, it doesn’t matter. When you get married (or have a HUGE party just because), then you can get whatever you like. This is about making the bride’s dreams and wishes come true. She has been by your side forever; give her the big gift of support for her vision. And… never murmur the words, “Well, if it was MY day…”

5. Be there for all that she needs, because she is often there for whatever you need. Leading up to the wedding, chances are the bride is a bit stressed. She’s your bestie, you know what she needs; take her out for cocktails, to the beach, or a quiet dinner. Above all, remind the bride that this should be more happy than stressful and constantly be available to brighten her day and lighten her load.

Written By Kimber Benedict